Monday, September 28, 2009

Non-Journalist Journalist.

Today I pushed myself to the max. I got three interviews done with journalism and advertising professors. I normally wouldn't punish myself like this, but I had no choice. The paper I am writing for Fink's class is probably one of the most demanding papers I've done yet, and it's not over. I have two difficult papers following this one.

I often think to myself that I am not cut out for journalism. That there is not a bone in my body that screams "news!" or that likes asking strange people questions about things I have no clue about. There is nothing in me that craves a newspaper.

Sure, throughout my training here at Grady I have gained a respect and almost protective attitude towards the news. I really do see the importance of it. I know that in order to keep our democracy going, we need the news. I know that journalists are the watchdogs who "bark in the night," as Fink says. (I don't know how many times he's said this, I'm sure it's a song and dance to him now.)

Whenever I sit in his class, however, I feel quite inadequate; especially compared to the students who work on the Red & Black, the student newspaper. I have never had enough time to write regularly for any paper or magazine. My school work has always been too much. Besides, I just am not a newspaper person.

Hopefully I will be able to find what I really love doing and do it. Perhaps editing is my thing. Maybe writing magazine articles about things that matter to me. Who knows where I will end up. I just know that I'm in His hands.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Never again...

Just thought I'd post this.
I find it funny that today was an exquisite day outside. The sun was so bright and there was not a single cloud in the sky. There was a cool breeze too.

Oh God, you're kind of wonderful.

Monday, September 21, 2009

First Time Flooding

All photos have been taken from my Facebook friends. Thank you for your help.

When I was little, I loved splashing in the puddles of my front yard. I liked to squish the mud in between my toes and skip down the curb-river. When it rained, nature created a temporary playground for my friends and I.

I never thought in a million years that my neighborhood was in danger of a flood. It just didn't rain enough. My house was on a slight hill so I never gave it a second thought. Atlanta just didn't seem like the type of area that could flood. Endless talk of droughts never allowed for such ideas.

Now 285 is flooded and closed. People are trudging through torrent water and staring in awe as the places they know by heart have been transformed into unrecognizable danger areas.

The soccer fields where I used to traverse every season are now a lake of dirty water. The field I played on for the very first time is underwater.

It's strange how things can go from harmless to horrific. In the past, I shrugged when "flash flood watch" scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen. Now as I watch the weather channel, the red bar and alarming beeping add a sort of reality to the situation. This flood is really happening, and people are really in trouble. Houses are being flooded. Hot water heaters are breaking. Commutes are hours longer. Internet and power are out. Mudslides are damaging property and harming families. Roads are being washed out in neighborhoods.

I am astonished at just how much rain has fallen in the past two weeks. Not one day has had any sun. It seems a cloud of gloom moved in and keeps pouring on us. Why so much rain? Why is there no break? You'd think North Georgia has had enough but you'd think wrong. There is more rain on its way from southern Alabama.

Schools are closing around Metro Atlanta freeing up the kids for (possibly) the week. Families must brave the waters alone. Many Facebook statuses were complaints about the rain and then turned into unbelief as rivers started flooding over.

"Jenny is gonna go buy a raft!"
"Nickole been stuck in traffic for FOUR HOURS trying to get home from work."
Kasey-- No water, no power, no exit. Seriously rain, please stop!

"Melissa is worried about her family... please stop raining :("
Even a Kanye joke --
"Andrew-- Atlanta, I'm proud of you and I'mma let you finish, but New Orleans had the best flood of all TIME!"

Most people are trying to find the fun in the change of scenery. A day or so off of school seems worth it to some. I kind of even wish it would flood here for that reason, just so long as no one gets hurt. My friends back home are celebrating the "flood day" by taking pictures and enjoying their cozy and dry homes.

I hope the rain stops soon and the sun shines for days. God promised He wouldn't use a flood to kill us off again, so I guess we're safe for now. I just can't wait to soak up that forgotten sun.

My beloved Chestnut Hill. Impassible.
What a flood.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Once Upon a Time

Have you ever loved or admired something so much, but there was nothing you could do about it? No way to show your appreciation and no way to make it yours? This happens to me all the time. I never knew what it was that affected me so deeply after movies I watched that I loved. I never understood why I felt down after seeing something so great, until now.

One specific example I can remember is the night I came out of The Prince of Egypt. The movie was phenomenal. Uplifting. I was so happy I got to see it, but I had this overwhelming sense of complacency and emptiness.

Now that I'm older, I can place these feelings and get why I feel the way I do. I've always, always loved movies, well stories, in general. It is hard for people like me because when we fall in love with a story or character, there's nothing we can do about it. Sure, we can put up display pictures of our beloved prince or write fan fiction. We can let everyone know what we love by showing others... but we cannot have "it" for our own.

I will never be best friends with Anne of Green Gables. I won't ever be able to stare at Edward Cullen's perfect face. I'll never meet Satine or Christian, nor dance the night away at the Moulin Rouge. I'll never tell Thomas J. that I love him and that he shouldn't kick the bees' nest. I can never go to a fancy ball in a beautiful dress to dance with the prince or fly to Neverland with my beloved Peter Pan.

Most people my age grew up living through these stories. Halloween was the time to show everyone who you really wanted to be. Forget being a businessman or a lawyer. Little boys dressed up as Ninja Turtles, Robin Hood, or Luke Skywalker. Girls weren't dressed as nurses or journalists. They were dressed up as Princess Jasmine, Dorothy, and Tinker Bell.

These stories are what enriched our little lives, bringing magic and true love where there was a lack of it. These characters made us believe that anything could happen if we wanted it enough.

I suppose that I feel emptiness when I love a film, book, or (anything fantastical) because I cannot have it. I cannot be a part of it. I did not help create these beautiful characters. I will never know them and I will never be them.

Maybe Disney and many novelists did us a disservice by creating such wonderful worlds. Maybe they gave us false hopes. I mean, come on, Prince Charming? Hello!

Honestly, I'd rather feel sad about the stories not being real than having no story at all. Everything that I've loved and will love, makes my life worth living. I live for twisty plots and deep characters and mysteriously beautiful settings.

It might be because life is just so ordinary, but I think maybe, life can inspire such wonderful stories too. I hope one day that I find myself a beautiful heroine in a crazy and memorable, twisty plot.

Oh I wait for the day.